Procrastination?

If all I have to do is write, why do I find it so difficult?  A couple of theories: I’m concerned my children will try to take away my chromebook, I’m scared I won’t have anything to write, or maybe I don’t always feel like it.  Two out of those three involve fear and insecurity.  Why is that?  What do I have to be afraid of?

Sometimes I worry that I’m not capable of writing or that nobody will read what I’ve written.  I’m starting to think that maybe that doesn’t matter.  If that is why I’m writing, no wonder I have concerns about substance.  I have a feeling that I should be writing from the heart.  Then the issue becomes one of heart.  I think I am scared of being vulnerable, which is silly.  I want to write because I feel I have something important to say.  I have experiences that I want to share because I want to pay it forward.

I have lots of ideas and lots of memories to draw from.  I need to pick one and start writing about it.  My strength is in writing first-person narratives.  I can write poetry and short stories, but writing with my voice is what makes my perspective unique.  

Now as I type this, my one-year-old is spinning along the sofa.  It’s probably hard to picture, but he is standing up and basically rolling in that position along the sofa, where I am sitting.  His head is tilted back and he is making burbling sounds.  Poor thing is so tired.  So for now, I’m done, but I’ll be back again later.  Maybe today, maybe tomorrow.  Either way, hopefully sooner rather than later.

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